Schlepping toward Dowdiness

Wearing a backpack for work when dressed in business professional makes someone look juvenile, and yet I see this every weekday on the Minneapolis skyways.

A man could be dressed correctly in every other single matter, but the moment he dons a backpack to lug his gear through the skyway the first two things I invariably ask myself are: Where is his lunchbox, and did his mother include Capri Sun or Minute Maid apple juice?

For some reason, I never see women doing this, and that I find baffling. Women are always striving to look younger with God knows how many means—makeup, hair coloring, exercise, plastic surgery. To that list I would like to add that there’s great potential in wearing a backpack. It will definitely take 20 years off anyone’s life when worn with professional business dress.

One day I observed a gentleman in well cut, two button gray suit with side vents, sporting walnut dress shoes. Stylish and conservative. But, he had a backpack. On his shoulders. The bag was so big he was hunched over like Quasimodo. I’ve been backpacking in the bush, and I’m positive my load had been lighter than his. I don’t know how he commutes, but the first image I had conjured up was him boarding a big yellow school bus. And of course he had Target badge connected to his belt. Why are they always the worst offenders?

There is no reason to be at the age and occupation when you’re in the position to wear a suit to the office and still carry around a backpack like you’re schlepping your bio-chem textbook. Gym clothes might be an obvious exception for something to carry around in a backpack, were there not an even more obvious answer to that conundrum: a gym bag.

When you graduate from college you should update from a backpack to a briefcase or a messenger bag. Do you still drink what you did in college, or have you graduated from the days of a case of Natty Light? The same applies to dress. Those two accessories—a messenger bag of briefcase—will wear much better around the body than a sack made for hiking and canoeing through the Boundary Waters. Plus, people won’t think of Tom Hanks from Big.

The exception to this is if you’re dressed casually (and by casual I in no way mean business casual). If you’re wearing jeans and a t-shirt out in public then of course it’s acceptable to wear a backpack. Since you’re already dressed for comfort, if using a backpack is comfortable, then do it.

If you still really insist on wearing a backpack with a suit, then at least wear it around just one shoulder. This will minimize damager to both your now-slovenly appearance and your suit.

One of the maxims of dress is that one should never sacrifice comfort for style. While I guess at the end of the day you’re free to do as you please regarding the choice of a backpack with a suit from Brooks Brothers, don’t think people don’t think you look stupid doing it.